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Doing a paper for my Bible as Literature course led me to investigating the whole Ichthys, or “Jesus fish”, phenomenon… and these were some of my favorite findings.

Clockwise to buy (or at least view): Etsy Derby Decals, T-Rex Car Emblem on Amazon, tambourine (similar ones in "cranberry-mahogany" and in light rosewood), GetGags.com plastic emblems (link to buy doesn’t work and I couldn’t find another one), Jesus fish beads from Discount School Supply but the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission (where I found the image) recalled them and I can’t seem to find them anywhere for sale.

We went out once, now go the fuck away.

I was traveling and made the mistake of going on a date with a guy who was mildly attractive. I may have also been hypnotized by the rain and we made out.

I don’t want to interact with him again, but I can’t exactly tell him to drive off a cliff because I do business in the smallish city where he lives. As I’m likely to run into him at some point, all I can do is rant here. He continues to send me text messages that are annoying, creepy, and worst of all laden with improper spelling and grammar. Here’s one of them:

Hi girl I hope I didn’t say anything to stupid last time, I was just trying to say You’d be pretty even if u had a club foot.last class of the semester last night for me when’s your break?next week I find out my average and if I can continue on scholarship, i hope your good what r u doing 4 Xmas

At first it appears to just be another of his idiotic and poorly thought out messages that I would normally delete. Upon closer inspection, you’ll notice that he mentioned that I’d be pretty “even if [I] had a club foot.” I guess that’s a pretty big compliment for someone who can’t figure out the difference between “to” and “too” as well as “your” and “you’re.”

And how the fuck is this guy on scholarship? If those are their standards, maybe I should have gone to school there. Then again, judging by rest of the population, I’d be state valedictorian.

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